It's Demeaning... No Matter Who Says It

Farely recently a song was released called Blurred Lines by the artist Robin Thicke. Anyone who has heard it and knows anything about it knows that this song caused lots of commotion with people all around the world, and rightfully so. This song has awful lyrics and is completely demeaning to women.

So often songs that we hear on the radio or t.v. have such harsh meaning behind them and so much of the time we overlook how awful and demeaning the lyrics of those songs are. So in the case of Blurred Lines, I think it was very appropriate that people were outraged by the lyrics and the meaning behind them. As a female, most people would expect me to also be outraged about this song, but it may surprise you however that this doesn't bother that much. Now before you stop reading let me explain why. This doesn't bother me because there is something that bothers me a lot more.

So often females point out the songs that men are singing and say how demeaning they are to women, but then they go ranting and raving about a song a female singer is writing that is just as demeaning. For example there's a songs called Sleazy by Kesha which says "And I don't wanna go places where all my ladies can't go in, just grab a bottle, some boys and let's take it back to my basement and get sleazy". In songs like this women are just demeaning and disrespecting themselves. In this song they are  practically saying that their just objects that give guys a good time. They aren't showing themselves any self respect whatsoever.  And the really sad thing is that there is so much worse then this out there. Some songs have such vulgar lyrics that I wouldn't feel comfortable even writing them just to give an example or make a point. What appals me the most is that these songs are written by women speaking these awful things about themselves and all of their very own gender.

Why do people think it makes such a big difference when women is saying these things then when a man is, or that it makes it okay? Just because a women is the one saying these things doesn't make it any less demeaning. If anything, personally I think it makes is more demeaning because she is disrespecting herself and all the other women around her and listening to her music. Women, expecially those who are young need to have good influences in their lives. Ones who tell them about their true worth and actually care about them, not ones who are just singing anything (no matter how cruel and wrong) to make money and become popular in the music business.

Being on the Radio Makes it Okay?

A question that goes through my head so often when I'm shuffling through radio stations or looking at someones playlist is; Do people ever actually listen to the music that they're hearing, like legitimately listen to the words? So much of the time if we heard people say some of these things in daily life, we'd be appalled. But because its being put together with a catchy tune and is playing on the radio it makes it okay? This is something that I just can't seem to rap my brain around. Some people may call me "old school" but in my opinion, just because you are singing along to a song with words that were written by someone else this doesn't mean that you can say there not your words. As soon as these words exit your mouth they become your own and you are responsible for them, no matter who the original person who spoke them was.

For example, the other day I was talking with a group of people about swearing. Personally I find swearing unnecessary and inappropriate and I've been raised to believe that it's wrong. This doesn't mean that I dislike any person that swears or anything like that, but I prefer not to surround myself with it. I think that it is a bad habit that can be offensive and disrespectful to those around you. By all means I'm not saying that I'm some perfect person who has never caught myself muttering or thinking a like four-letter-word, but I've made the conscious decision to do my best not to swear. Anyway, as I was listening to one girl state her opinion on swearing, something she said really caught me off guard. She said she didn't swear very often and from what I deciphered she wasn't a really huge fan of it, but she said that she swears if she's singing along to a song. Now I have nothing against this girl, I quite like her actually but I don't think that just because something is said in a song, it all the sudden makes it okay for you to say it.

Another thing that bothers me is that so often these songs are being heard by young children. I mean I understand that some artists want to grow in their music and transpire from their childish songs with fluffy subjects to things that are a bit more meaningful and mature, and there's nothing wrong with that. But they also need to realize that those little 10 year-old girls they were reaching with their past music, are still going to be listening to their new music. And maybe at the moment they don't realize that when they're singing "If you don't wanna take it slow and you just wanna take me home.." that their talking about casual sex, but eventually their gonna figure it out and think it's okay because it's something they've been singing and hearing about on the radio. And for the artists who are trying to subtly add things like this into their music, it doesn't show maturity. The fact that they are not being considerate of those young children who they must know are listening to their music, personally I think it shows the exact opposite of maturity. I mean these young kids often don't realize that just because something is being said by singers on the radio it doesn't make it okay, or even make it true.

True Beauty

It bugs me to see the things that media today is putting into the minds of young women. Thoughts that they have to look a specific way or must act a certain way to be thought of as appealing and attractive to those around them, especially those of the opposite gender. Women in general (myself included) are being told over and over again that they aren't good enough the way they are. We are encouraged to become something we're not to be considered beautiful in the eyes of those around us. What is beauty though?

We are told by music videos and T.V. shows that beauty is your appearance, and whether or not those around you see you as appealing in looks. Personally I think of this as absurd. That this thing so many people strive for so much is just strictly based on other people's personally opinions on your appearance. Now I'm not saying that I dislike the term beautiful, not at all actually. As much as the next teenager girl, I hope to some day have a guy in my life who will call me beautiful (as embarrassing and cliche as it may be). But I also hope that when this happens (although it may not I suppose), that he will not be solely referring to my outward appearance. As flattering as it is to be thought of as good looking, I believe that there is much more to beauty then that.

It is said in Proverbs 31:30 that "Charm is deceptive, and [outward] beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." This verse tells us that our outward appearance is not what we should be worried about because eventually that will fade. But instead we must spend time working on our hearts and our inward selves. I know that some people would read this and think "Pfft well that won't get me a boyfriend" but if your outward appearance is what a guy is with you for, won't he just leave when that "beauty" fades? I think that instead we must be patient for that one guy that sees our true beauty within. And in that time period of waiting, don't just simply lye around and pity yourself. Focus on the other relationships in our life; like with your parents, friends ,etc. and most importantly on your relationship with the Lord. And when the right guy comes along you will know that the wait was worth it and be more thankful for him because you know that you didn't just settle for the first guy that found you physically attractive. Also, knowing that you were patient and waited for him will just make you appreciate him even more.

In the book I Kissed Dating Goodbye, Joshua Harris writes; "One of these days, and this is the moment for which I'm hoping and praying, I'm going to meet a girl, and when I imagine her at fifty she'll be even more beautiful than she is today. They years won't detract; they'll only sharpen and mature her. Because with a women who fears God, whose inner strength draws from the wellspring of His life, time can only add to her true beauty." This is the women that I strive to be and I am so blessed to have women in my life who are examples of this! I can only hope that more young women with also see that this beauty is something so much more fulfilling to work toward then the unrealistic, unattainable so called "beauty" advertised all around us.